Is there something that you would like to feel right now? Can you give that feeling to yourself?
Can you give yourself the recognition, sense of importance and feeling of worthiness that you long for? The approval you seek? The love you crave?
Longing to feel a certain way, we are conditioned to turn to the outside world in search of it.
This impulse to turn to the world beyond us is the product of our childhood. And I hate to break it to you, but we all had a childhood. As children, we needed the world outside of us in a very literal sense. We relied on our parents (or caregivers) in order to survive.
The outside world was the source of all things: food, love, warmth, approval, pain, rejection, neglect.
We were trained into the world by by keeping our focus on the world.
That conditioning, etched into our very being from birth up through adolescence, continues to be very powerful once we reach adulthood.
The habit is so automatic, so deeply ingrained, that we rarely even recognize it.
When we do recognize it, we certainly don’t question it.
Sometimes, we receive the feeling we long for; sometimes, we don’t. And therein lies the issue: the “sometimes”.
We are at the mercy of the people and the events that we happen to make contact with. Some of these people are kind, some of these people are abusive; some of the things that happen to us are positive, some are destructive.
Sometimes, we receive temporary relief – we feel important and seen and loved and worthy. Sometimes, we experience more pain, more self-doubt, more negative convictions about who we are.
The thing is, the world is largely uncaring. People don’t exist for your sake. Things happen, but not for you.
You are playing a game of chance. Your well-being hinges on forces over which you have no control.
But, what if there was an alternative? What if you didn’t have to keep playing this game?
What if, as opposed to relying on outside people and events to help you feel good about yourself, you instead turned to yourself as the source of those feelings?
You are the one entity, the one thing, you can always rely on. Other people will come and go. Events will occur and then stop occurring.
You will always be there.
Try it on. Identify a feeling that you’d like to have.
Maybe it’s a desire to feel seen, loved, confident, important, happy, content, nourished, cherished, adored, recognized, adequate, happy, peaceful, understood, worthy, enough.
And now, see if you can be the source of that feeling for yourself.
You don’t need to find any justification for it. You don’t even need any evidence to support it.
Just take a moment and give yourself – or let yourself experience – the feeling you seek. Breathe it in. Feel it move through you. Feel it arise within you and from you.
You can do this any time. You don’t need to wait for somebody or something.
Practice until it becomes so second nature that the very idea of turning to external people and events as the source of your well-being becomes foreign and strange.
There is no reason to wait. There is no need to wait.
So, why wait?