Blog - The Other Therapy

Jul 23 2020July 23, 2020

Why We Keep Doing That Same Annoying Thing Again And Again And Again…

Many of us are familiar with the painful pattern of engaging in certain behaviors while simultaneously recognizing that those behaviors are not to our benefit. We experience ourselves as innocent bystanders, helplessly watching the train that is our self-sabotage rip by us, immune and indifferent to our muffled pleas for it to stop. The solution …

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Jun 14 2020July 2, 2020

Acceptance vs Improvement

In our western culture, much of the emphasis on personal work is oriented towards self-improvement. Self-improvement is wonderful. It is not my intention to demonize it. What I want to point out are two things: 1) An exclusive focus on self-improvement risks becoming another avoidance strategy. A means of getting away from ourselves right now. …

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May 11 2020June 11, 2020

“Should-ing” Ourselves

When we “should” ourselves, we are basically telling ourselves that who we are in this moment is not ok. This is a type of self-abandonment. “I shouldn’t be angry,” is a statement that both makes my anger wrong and, more fundamentally, makes me wrong for having my anger. I am communicating to myself that how …

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Apr 14 2020April 21, 2020

Personal Empowerment Achieved Through a Shift in Language

communication

“Situation ‘Y’ Triggered Feelings Of ‘X’ In Me” My clients are all too familiar with this intervention. It is an invitation to deliberately change their language in a straightforward, albeit slightly awkward, way. In this post, I argue that using this language (externally and internally) saves us from positioning ourselves as victims, and puts power …

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Apr 4 2020April 14, 2020

Coping with Covid Chaos (Managing Anxiety)

anxiety, covid-19

Managing anxiety is no small feat, especially in the face of the uncertainty and fear resulting from COVID-19. This posts offers some tips in the form of drawings to help regulate anxiety and reconnect with self during this stressful time.

Feb 16 2020February 17, 2020

Couples Emphasize the Wrong Thing

The majority of couples who come to therapy complain about a lack of connection in their relationship. They want to feel more engaged with one another. More intimate. Closer. As the therapist, buying into this narrative is enticing. The subsequent sessions are spent proposing solutions aimed at increasing the likelihood that the couple will experience …

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Jan 29 2020February 16, 2020

Transformative Change

The hero’s journey is symbolic of the path to transformative change. A hero confronts her own demise. Her own annihilation. In popular culture, this journey happens in the external world. The journey can be witnessed and commented upon. We see it in adventure, war, unfortunate circumstances, outside threats. The hero is put in a position …

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Jan 13 2020February 20, 2020

Your Resolution Solution

If engaging in our desired behavior is dependent on us feeling good and feeling motivated, we are, in my estimation, doomed. So long as our behavior is chained to an experience of comfort, ease, and motivation, we can only go so far. Transformative change necessarily entails feeling uncomfortable.

Dec 27 2019December 27, 2019

Anxiety – A Friend for Life

Courage is not the absence of fear or anxiety. Courage is about showing up fully in our lives – taking action – even while feeling afraid and anxious. I imagine that you were drawn to this post due to your own history with anxiety. Indeed, it was my experience with anxiety that initially motivated me …

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Nov 20 2019February 20, 2020

What is Neurosis

It is my observation that all of us, in some way or another and to varying degrees, display a certain amount of neurotic behavior in our engagement with life. We manage, time and again, to unnecessarily create difficult situations for ourselves. Probably all of us could win an award for “going out of my way …

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